Mon, 19 Dec 2005
My Dear Friends,
It was a productive weekend. My in-laws came in from the west side of the state for a visit. While my mother-in-law busied herself helping around the house, my father-in-law and my dad built shelving in our garage. This was something I had wanted to do for quite a while. The back of the garage space was not being used efficiently. The shelving really improved it. Mark and I were grateful for the help both inside the house and in the garage.
On Sunday night, Mark, the boys and I went to the Christmas cantata at Prayer Baptist Church, to which our dear friends (babysitter and husband) belong. The songs were moving. My new favorite Christmas song is “Mary Did You Know” which was sung by their complete choir. The pastor preached at different times between songs and gave a moving sermon about trusting the Lord to heal you in times of trial and suffering. Brought me to tears.
I was struck by the difference between Catholic services and this one. It was cool to hear the congregation just yell out “Amen” whenever the Spirit moved them. Catholics don’t do that. Heck, we barely sing when we’re supposed to, as we are very reserved.
As for my health, I finally stopped feeling nauseous on Saturday. I am starting to have pain in my right shoulder when I lift things or move to close a drawer. I will inform all the medical parties involved to see what they want me to do. I’m already in chemo so if it’s another problem, that will help. I’ll tell the radiation oncologist when I see him on Thursday.
Went to chemo again today, for Taxotere and Herceptin. Also had the required pre-meds (Benadryl for allergic reactions, Aloxi & Zantac for nausea). Took Dexamethasone, a steroid, last night and twice today. Took an Anzemet pill for nausea this evening. Anzemet sounds like an Egyptian pharaoh, so does Aranesp, the shots I took two years ago to build red blood cells.
Got a shot of Procrit in my upper arm today for red blood cells. That’s the drug they advertise on TV and in magazines. Never paid much attention til it applied to me. Procrit feels like fire entering your arm muscle but I have discovered a way to lessen the burn. I make the nurse squeeze my upper arm really, really hard while giving me the shot. They laugh because I tell them to squeeze the heck out of it and they’re afraid to bruise me but it does work. One nurse joked that I’ll probably go home and take a picture of my arm to report them. No way. (The same technique worked with the Aranesp shots I used to take. Jesse helped me once or twice back then, as my shots were due when the doc’s office was closed. He squeezed and I injected. Brave kid. Fortunately, my cousin the nurse came by most Friday nights for those shots.)
Still have all my hair (and so does the older gentleman at the doc’s office who’s getting the same chemo as me, but is a week ahead.) I am still not sleeping well but hopefully that will improve soon. I am starting to be able to lie on my good side for a short time, enough to take pressure off my back for a little bit. The main thing that helps is getting out of bed and walking around, which is a bummer in the wee hours.
About a week or so ago, I had made my way downstairs at about 3:30 AM. I was planning to switch to the reclining couch for the rest of the night. First I went into the kitchen. As I entered the room and looked around, I noticed the deck security light was casting a curious shadow on the family room hearth.
It is possible that many nights of little sleep and dark thoughts had affected my perception, but I had not seen this type of shadow before or since, despite waking up at nearly the same time every night. Standing on my hearth, half in shadow and half a clear, dark shape, was the Grim Reaper. Although it was probably my mind playing tricks, I chose to treat it as a reality. I did not cry or run. I looked straight at him and told him he has to leave because I am not ready to go yet. I turned my back on him and walked into the living room without looking again. They say visualization is important in healing and that’s how I rationalize that episode.
On a more cheery note, Mark and I have finally started Christmas shopping. We went to Meijer last night and Mikey once again got to ride on a scooter like at Costco. Mark and I got in a little bit more shopping early this evening when all of my appointments were done.
About this blog, I know that several recent readers may not know the entire story from the beginning. Next time I will briefly recap my first occurrence of cancer for them.
We appreciate your kind words and continued prayers,
Love,
Jeanette
It was a productive weekend. My in-laws came in from the west side of the state for a visit. While my mother-in-law busied herself helping around the house, my father-in-law and my dad built shelving in our garage. This was something I had wanted to do for quite a while. The back of the garage space was not being used efficiently. The shelving really improved it. Mark and I were grateful for the help both inside the house and in the garage.
On Sunday night, Mark, the boys and I went to the Christmas cantata at Prayer Baptist Church, to which our dear friends (babysitter and husband) belong. The songs were moving. My new favorite Christmas song is “Mary Did You Know” which was sung by their complete choir. The pastor preached at different times between songs and gave a moving sermon about trusting the Lord to heal you in times of trial and suffering. Brought me to tears.
I was struck by the difference between Catholic services and this one. It was cool to hear the congregation just yell out “Amen” whenever the Spirit moved them. Catholics don’t do that. Heck, we barely sing when we’re supposed to, as we are very reserved.
As for my health, I finally stopped feeling nauseous on Saturday. I am starting to have pain in my right shoulder when I lift things or move to close a drawer. I will inform all the medical parties involved to see what they want me to do. I’m already in chemo so if it’s another problem, that will help. I’ll tell the radiation oncologist when I see him on Thursday.
Went to chemo again today, for Taxotere and Herceptin. Also had the required pre-meds (Benadryl for allergic reactions, Aloxi & Zantac for nausea). Took Dexamethasone, a steroid, last night and twice today. Took an Anzemet pill for nausea this evening. Anzemet sounds like an Egyptian pharaoh, so does Aranesp, the shots I took two years ago to build red blood cells.
Got a shot of Procrit in my upper arm today for red blood cells. That’s the drug they advertise on TV and in magazines. Never paid much attention til it applied to me. Procrit feels like fire entering your arm muscle but I have discovered a way to lessen the burn. I make the nurse squeeze my upper arm really, really hard while giving me the shot. They laugh because I tell them to squeeze the heck out of it and they’re afraid to bruise me but it does work. One nurse joked that I’ll probably go home and take a picture of my arm to report them. No way. (The same technique worked with the Aranesp shots I used to take. Jesse helped me once or twice back then, as my shots were due when the doc’s office was closed. He squeezed and I injected. Brave kid. Fortunately, my cousin the nurse came by most Friday nights for those shots.)
Still have all my hair (and so does the older gentleman at the doc’s office who’s getting the same chemo as me, but is a week ahead.) I am still not sleeping well but hopefully that will improve soon. I am starting to be able to lie on my good side for a short time, enough to take pressure off my back for a little bit. The main thing that helps is getting out of bed and walking around, which is a bummer in the wee hours.
About a week or so ago, I had made my way downstairs at about 3:30 AM. I was planning to switch to the reclining couch for the rest of the night. First I went into the kitchen. As I entered the room and looked around, I noticed the deck security light was casting a curious shadow on the family room hearth.
It is possible that many nights of little sleep and dark thoughts had affected my perception, but I had not seen this type of shadow before or since, despite waking up at nearly the same time every night. Standing on my hearth, half in shadow and half a clear, dark shape, was the Grim Reaper. Although it was probably my mind playing tricks, I chose to treat it as a reality. I did not cry or run. I looked straight at him and told him he has to leave because I am not ready to go yet. I turned my back on him and walked into the living room without looking again. They say visualization is important in healing and that’s how I rationalize that episode.
On a more cheery note, Mark and I have finally started Christmas shopping. We went to Meijer last night and Mikey once again got to ride on a scooter like at Costco. Mark and I got in a little bit more shopping early this evening when all of my appointments were done.
About this blog, I know that several recent readers may not know the entire story from the beginning. Next time I will briefly recap my first occurrence of cancer for them.
We appreciate your kind words and continued prayers,
Love,
Jeanette
posted by Mark Kappe @ 8:51 PM
1 Comments:
At 7:25 AM,
Lindsay said…
Hi Nette!
You keep on tellin' Grim what you think - I would have given him a piece of my mind as well! ;)
I am so proud of you! You are the strongest person I know - in fact, you are probably so strong that YOU don't even know how much! Love you!
p.s. I had fun shopping last night - let's do it again today!
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