Weds, 3 May 2006
My Dear Friends,
Don't know where to start...
Friday, the day on which I thought I'd be feeling better, was the worst. The effects of last Monday's chemo seemed to last longer than the last time. Still had some knee joint pain as late as yesterday.
Staying home from work today. A partner at work suggested I get some rest as I was struggling to stay awake in his office while discussing a tax return. He was nice about it, though.
Met with the oncologist on Monday. I was in tears before she came in because I was reading that story in the local paper about this mother with terminal colon cancer, given 1-2 years to live. It told all the things she did for her children before she died, including individual scrapbooks. It hit home.
I lamented to the oncologist that parents should be exempt from cancer. She agreed, saying that God gave you these children and you'd think He'd want you to take care of them.
As for me, she said things lke "Don't waste time" and "Live each day to the fullest". The kicker was when she said,"Enjoy the time you have left."
"Well, that's optimistic!" I replied.
She backpedaled,"Oh, well, we all should do that..."
I had told a nurse that I'm afraid of the doctor because someday she will tell me I'm going to die. The nurse said she will never say that. Now, she might meet with your FAMILY and tell them...
Nice. Like I would not pick up on that later.
I told the doc I was afraid of her. She asked if I wanted to see her partner instead. I said no because I don't think that will help.
Seeing the doc took a lot out of me. The past few days, I've been dragging. So tired. My limbs feel heavy. I've been having hot flashes and chills. No fever, though, I checked.
It seems like when I lost my hair, other things went with it. I've lost my energy, my optimism and my hope.
The nurse left a message yesterday telling me to inject the Neupogen for white bloood cells every single day for the next SIX days. That's the most ever. Bummer. Guess that chemo wiped out my high count from last week. How low must it be to inject every day? She didn't leave that number in the message.
Today, I have to go for the routine heart test, to determine if the Herceptin is damaging my heart. If so, they'll take me off it for a while. I also have to see my regular doc, as I've had an earache. Every time I move my head, I hear water sloshing. (No jokes, please!) It's not from the shower, I already thought of that. It's inside. A good decongestant will take care of that.
Gotta go. Have to call work and go back to bed.
Please continue to pray for me.
Love,
Jeanette
Don't know where to start...
Friday, the day on which I thought I'd be feeling better, was the worst. The effects of last Monday's chemo seemed to last longer than the last time. Still had some knee joint pain as late as yesterday.
Staying home from work today. A partner at work suggested I get some rest as I was struggling to stay awake in his office while discussing a tax return. He was nice about it, though.
Met with the oncologist on Monday. I was in tears before she came in because I was reading that story in the local paper about this mother with terminal colon cancer, given 1-2 years to live. It told all the things she did for her children before she died, including individual scrapbooks. It hit home.
I lamented to the oncologist that parents should be exempt from cancer. She agreed, saying that God gave you these children and you'd think He'd want you to take care of them.
As for me, she said things lke "Don't waste time" and "Live each day to the fullest". The kicker was when she said,"Enjoy the time you have left."
"Well, that's optimistic!" I replied.
She backpedaled,"Oh, well, we all should do that..."
I had told a nurse that I'm afraid of the doctor because someday she will tell me I'm going to die. The nurse said she will never say that. Now, she might meet with your FAMILY and tell them...
Nice. Like I would not pick up on that later.
I told the doc I was afraid of her. She asked if I wanted to see her partner instead. I said no because I don't think that will help.
Seeing the doc took a lot out of me. The past few days, I've been dragging. So tired. My limbs feel heavy. I've been having hot flashes and chills. No fever, though, I checked.
It seems like when I lost my hair, other things went with it. I've lost my energy, my optimism and my hope.
The nurse left a message yesterday telling me to inject the Neupogen for white bloood cells every single day for the next SIX days. That's the most ever. Bummer. Guess that chemo wiped out my high count from last week. How low must it be to inject every day? She didn't leave that number in the message.
Today, I have to go for the routine heart test, to determine if the Herceptin is damaging my heart. If so, they'll take me off it for a while. I also have to see my regular doc, as I've had an earache. Every time I move my head, I hear water sloshing. (No jokes, please!) It's not from the shower, I already thought of that. It's inside. A good decongestant will take care of that.
Gotta go. Have to call work and go back to bed.
Please continue to pray for me.
Love,
Jeanette
posted by Mark Kappe @ 5:05 AM
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