Thurs, 26 October 2006
My Dear Friends,
I don't know what to say. I'm still a bundle of nerves and very scared. Every moment I imagine the cancer spreading, now that I know the chemo is not working. I felt fine last week and now I'm having tiny pains in all the places the scan says I should, and even more places than that.
Some dear friends came over last night and brought their pastor with my permission. I had wanted comfort but did not feel comfort. The pastor wanted me to accept Christ as my personal Savior and be "saved". He wanted me to come to his Church instead of the Catholic Church we have been attending for 9 years. I asked if he would pray with me even if I didn't say the (magic) words and he was reluctant. He did it eventually, but I got the impression he still felt I am going to hell.
I had always been taught that God judges us and it seems overly-confident for me to assume that I'm going to Heaven.
The whole thing made me sad and scared me even more.
So now Mark and I will probably call our deacon, who knows a saintly Jesuit he wants us to meet.
This is scary, going back to the other pastor...they believe good works count for nothing. If you don't declare "I am saved" you go to hell?!
The Catholic Church teaches that "Whatsoever you do to the least of my brothers, that you do unto me." This is our catalyst for good works, to see the face of Jesus in children, in the poor and homeless. The Catholic Church teaches that when you stand before God, you want to be able to say "When you were hungry, Lord, I gave you food. When you were thirsty, Lord, I gave you drink."
Heck, we even have a hymn about that!
Of course I have accepted Jesus. I did that in the 8th grade when I received the sacrament of Confirmation. That's where you publicly declare your faith and a bishop anoints you with oil to signify you are a full adult member of the Catholic Church. If you do not feel this in your heart, they don't force you to receive the sacrament.
My dear friends and their pastor left around 10pm, I think, so Mark and I stayed up until midnight discussing religion and these conflicts. (I was cutting fabric for my oldest child's Halloween costume while we talked. I do not waste a single moment.)
I woke up with a headache and I'm a bundle of nerves.
Please continue to pray for me, regardless of your denomination. I believe God listens to all of us.
Love,
Jeanette
I don't know what to say. I'm still a bundle of nerves and very scared. Every moment I imagine the cancer spreading, now that I know the chemo is not working. I felt fine last week and now I'm having tiny pains in all the places the scan says I should, and even more places than that.
Some dear friends came over last night and brought their pastor with my permission. I had wanted comfort but did not feel comfort. The pastor wanted me to accept Christ as my personal Savior and be "saved". He wanted me to come to his Church instead of the Catholic Church we have been attending for 9 years. I asked if he would pray with me even if I didn't say the (magic) words and he was reluctant. He did it eventually, but I got the impression he still felt I am going to hell.
I had always been taught that God judges us and it seems overly-confident for me to assume that I'm going to Heaven.
The whole thing made me sad and scared me even more.
So now Mark and I will probably call our deacon, who knows a saintly Jesuit he wants us to meet.
This is scary, going back to the other pastor...they believe good works count for nothing. If you don't declare "I am saved" you go to hell?!
The Catholic Church teaches that "Whatsoever you do to the least of my brothers, that you do unto me." This is our catalyst for good works, to see the face of Jesus in children, in the poor and homeless. The Catholic Church teaches that when you stand before God, you want to be able to say "When you were hungry, Lord, I gave you food. When you were thirsty, Lord, I gave you drink."
Heck, we even have a hymn about that!
Of course I have accepted Jesus. I did that in the 8th grade when I received the sacrament of Confirmation. That's where you publicly declare your faith and a bishop anoints you with oil to signify you are a full adult member of the Catholic Church. If you do not feel this in your heart, they don't force you to receive the sacrament.
My dear friends and their pastor left around 10pm, I think, so Mark and I stayed up until midnight discussing religion and these conflicts. (I was cutting fabric for my oldest child's Halloween costume while we talked. I do not waste a single moment.)
I woke up with a headache and I'm a bundle of nerves.
Please continue to pray for me, regardless of your denomination. I believe God listens to all of us.
Love,
Jeanette
posted by Mark Kappe @ 3:22 AM
1 Comments:
At 11:29 AM,
Lindsay said…
Hi Nette,
I believe the same as you; God does listen to all of us - He loves every single soul!
Please don't be sad or scared, God is with you and you have us - we are all here for you - ALWAYS and FOREVER.
I LOVE YOU!!!
~Lindsay
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