Fri, 8 June 2007

My Dear Friends,

Feeling better today. Just a little tired.

Tried to go to work today but obstacles kept coming up. After taking my blood test, I heard the freeway was backed up. Took another road only to sit at a railroad crossing for ten minutes. Turned around and decided to chance it on the freeway. Just before I got there, my "low coolant" light went on! Called Dad who said put water in it. Drove home and couldn't open the hood!

All the neighbors were at work and Dad was helping my sister with something this morning but my brother-in-law-to-be was in the neighborhood. He opened the hood and the coolant was full!

So now I've got to drive it to the local mechanic to find out what the heck is going on. Luckily, they can drive me back home.

Maybe I just was not meant to go in to work today.

This is one of those days where I just shake my head, SMILE, and go with the flow!

Love,
Jeanette

Thurs, 7 June 2007

My Dear Friends,

After work yesterday I had a fever of 101 F, which is hospitalization level for a cancer patient. I paged my doctor at about 6:15pm. Last year in May when this happened, she'd made plans for me to be admitted and called me back within the hour.

This time while waiting for her call, I drank lots of water, put an ice cold washcloth on my head and covered up in two afghans to manage my chills.

My oldest played nursemaid for an hour, bringing me everything I needed and trying to be cheerful although he was probably scared seeing Mommy in that condition. Mark and the little one were at a soccer game, not realizing how sick I was when they'd left.

I took my scheduled Neupogen shot, figuring that if I went to the hospital, they'd shoot me up with lots of Neupogen anyway, like they did last time.

My temp was down to 99.3 F when I went to bed at 9:15pm.

The doctor called and woke me up at 11:15pm! Nice. She said she'd left her pager somewhere and didn't realize I'd called! I told her the situation and she advised me to take some Tylenol, go to the ER if the fever spikes again, and go get a blood test on Friday.

Today, I stayed home from work. It's 2pm now. My temp was 97.0 F at 8am but I haven't taken it since. Just hanging around the house. I feel much better than yesterday but still a little tired.

This incident was like a slap in the face, reminding me again that I have a deadly disease and that life can turn on a dime. I have been cruising along and, except for Monday when I get treatment, ignoring cancer and living like I have 40 more years, carrying on a normal life. Now again I feel a sense of urgency. Urgency to do what, I don't know. Make my will? Finish all my incomplete craft projects? Clean the basement?

My poor babies. They don't deserve this, as I kept telling my oldest as he watched over me. I sure hope someday we'll all understand why this is happening.

Gotta go. Can't see the screen through my tears.

Love,
Jeanette